The US invades sweden

...The Swedish legal system anyways. The pirate bay, a Swedish run torrent hosting website has been sued by Hakan Roswell, who is filing for the USA's very own MPAA under the premise that the pirate bay has allowed over 600,000 Swedes access to illegal copies of movies.

Unlike most of the pirate bay's supporters, I do not approve of piracy. They may justify it by saying that they are fighting cooperate greed, but illegally downloading and using files you don't own is not the way to do it. My main problem in this case is the fact that the morons pushing the lawsuit are shooting the messenger. The pirate bay and torrenting works like this:

Person A goes to thepiratebay.com and uses the search function. He downloads torrent X directly from the pirate bay. He then uses a program downloaded onto his hard drive to open the torrent file. Once it is open, the torrent program will locate any other peers using the same torrent, and begin to transmit the data to person X.

Nothing about torrenting is inherently illegal, nor are the files inherently illegal. Claiming that the pirate bay is an accomplice to over 600,000 cases of copyright infringement is like claiming that the US postal service is guilty of over 100,000 cases of copyright infringement because people have mailed burned cd's to each other via the post office. The system is a completely legal and valid one, and is being used for illegal purposes, unlike something like napster, which hosted actual illegal media on its website, and gave it away. Suing the pirate bay makes about as much sense as suing google, and I know people use google to find torrents because the suggested search toolbar almost always lists +torrent after any movie title I google.

They can't sue the real criminals in this case, because the real criminals are average joes with average lives, and lawsuits would be ineffective due to the tens of millions of criminals this system has produced. Ripping a file you don't own may make you a prick and a criminal, but your actions have nothing to do with the pirate bay. They simply hold files that connect you to kind criminal pricks who are willing to send you pieces of the illegal file.

Welcome to teh intarwebs my friend, the ride get much scarier from here on in...

Gangs; Everyone has them

...In the US, we have the blood and crips, in Japan they are the yakuza, the chinese have various triad rings, and the Sicilians have the various mafia families. So in a case of gang against gang, clan against clan, ring against ring, family against family, where does Nigeria fit in? How about religion vs. religion?

BAUCHI, Nigeria (AP) — Rioters burned homes, churches and mosques in a central Nigerian town Saturday, when violence flared after Muslims parked their cars in front of a church, a Red Cross official said. Four people were killed and 35 injured.

Adamu Abubakar, head of Bauchi's Red Cross branch, said the clashes followed an argument between Christians and Muslims the previous day.

The army and police had deployed in the part of town where the clashes occurred and the situation had calmed, Abubakar said.

Bauchi lies along a line splitting Nigeria's predominantly Muslim and pastoralist northern population from southern Christian and animist farming communities.

While both groups live peacefully in crowded cities across Nigeria, they intermingle most closely in this fertile, hilly "middle belt," where an intense struggle for resources is under way. Northern herdsmen have historically needed pasture lands for their far-roaming flocks, while agrararian southerners want to grow corn.

Tensions in the region often find an outlet in ethnic and religious violence, which is intertwined with identities related to lifestyles. In November, over 300 people were killed in sectarian clashes in neighboring Jos.

I find this odd as hell. If there was one true religion, than why is the religious divide by ethnicity instead of by something such as kindness? I'd figure that if Islam was the true religion, no one would be bombing churches, and if the Christians had it right than Jesus's spirit would stop them from blowing the fuck out of the buildings of the innocent and simpleminded heretics. As this story develops I expect to hear the Christians yell "NOT TRUE CHRISTIANS™".

The ten oddest google searches that lead here

The goddess of blogger Google occasionally will bless me with traffic. However, there are some google searches that just make you turn your side to the side and try reading it again, to see if its more parsable that way. I present to you my ten favorite google searches that lead back to my website:

#10
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"baseball bats for prices you wouldn't believe"
to paraphrase bing "Enshoku's weblog, you source for baseball bats for prices you wouldn't believe."

#9
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"articles on how to persuade someone to dump you"
Don't ask me on this one, as that seems a bit random even for my blog.

#8
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"fagbastards exposed"
For everyone reading, I would like to point out I have yet to, nor will I ever put naked pictures of Ted haggard on this blog.

#7
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"iblp spank"
What in the heck? Is this meant to imply that I'm sadistic towards those in bible colleges...Okay maybe a little.

#6
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"my wife is egotistical"
Why would anyone google that, and more importantly, why would google send them my way?

#5
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"would be some of the problems people would have like nobody likes me, i have no friends etc"
Get a cat. Preferably one about to be euthanized.

#4
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"why is it wrong to kill Christians if it will send them to eternal life"
Because that is murder, and murder is bad. I hope to god this guy was just bored and isn't actually contemplating shooting up his local church or something, as that would be very bad.

#3
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"black people are riot prone"
This one had very little to with with me actually, as I think they may have been looking for HJHOP, where bing wrote an article of the same name: Link

#2
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"if you are prayer will stop the black hole won't destroy the earth"
I think this is supposed to read "If you pray, it will stop the black hole from destroying the earth" which is referring to the LHC article I wrote.
[side note: Haha, I win, and we are all still alive]

#1
---
"Twilight Princess is satanic"
Oh bugger off. The game may have been a bit lame, but it was far from satanic. Hell, I wouldn't even consider resident evil satanic, and RE is one of the most occult having, demon fighting, nightmare giving games ever.

From baseball bats to euthanized cats,
Gay preachers and sunday school teachers,
Black holes and black wholes,
crazy wives and killing with knives,
and getting a elfish swordsman to dump you.

My abortion is the only moral abortion

For all of you carrying around irony meters, please turn the sensitivity down on them. If not they may explode after reading this little gem. Tales of pro-life ladies and abortion clinic protesters happily hiring hitman doctors to slay their innocent babies, and being a prick to the hitman while doing it. To show what I mean lets turn to a Colorado baby slicer:

"Recently, we had a patient who had given a history of being a 'pro-life' activist, but who had decided to have an abortion. She was pleasant to me and our initial discussion was mutually respectful. Later, she told someone on my staff that she thought abortion is murder, that she is a murderer, and that she is murdering her baby. So before doing her procedure, I asked her if she thought abortion is murder -- the answer was yes. I asked her if she thought I am a murderer, and if she thought I would be murdering her baby, and she said yes. But murder is a crime, and murderers are executed. Is this a crime? Well, it should be, she said. At that point, she became angry and hostile, and the summary of the conversation was that she regarded me as an abortion-dispensing machine, and how dare I ask her what she thinks. After explaining to her that I do not perform abortions for people who think I am a murderer or people who are angry at me, I declined to provide her with medical care. I do not know whether she found someone else to do her abortion." (Physician, Colorado)

Yes he actually had the gall to say that he wasn't an abortion giving machine. The nerve of these people, blatantly lying like that. These abortionists need to grow some balls and learn to to stand up for their real beliefs, namely killing everything that isn't born yet.

David Icke vs the reptoid army: Can the cats kill the jews?

For those of you who've never heard the name David Icke, he is a rather notable conspiracy theorist. He isn't one of those boring theorists who likes to yell "government did 9/11, free mason NWO !1!1!!!11!!!1", David Icke is polite, confident, and batshit insane. Believe it or not, the man actually believes that nearly all of the world's jews are actually reptoids. If you clicked that link are already calling poe or bullshit, I'm afraid you are horribly wrong. David Icke believes that the only real Jews left are the Arabs who are battling the reptoid Israelites for the gaza strip.

To elaborate more on what the reptoids are and what their goal is, they are reptilian humanoids who hail from Alpha Draconis. They are using mass media and wars to completely mindfuck us and control us, and they eventually want us to to be their slave-puppets. In a case of "you got your sci-fi in my conspiracy theory", they call this the new world order, and 9/11 was most definitely involved. Obama comes in somewhere too, but shockingly he actually isn't a reptoid! Instead he seems to be one of their puppets, and he is hope-nitizing us all (hypotizing with hope).

Surely after hearing all this you must be ready to call bullshit, or think that "no-one is moronic to believe this crap, right?"...wrong. David Icke has nearly as many fans as rael does, and he didn't even have to establish an (official) religion to do it. Apparently they are so common that not even the horrors of the fast food drive through can help you avoid them. Below is a anecdote from Cliff Hendroval (via Pharyngula):

So this morning I'm in the drive-through line at my local McDonald's. I always have to turn off the radio there because of interference, my a/c is broken so my windows are open, and the person at the window three cars ahead must have made some sort of special order because no one's moving. From the pick-up truck behind me I start hearing someone yelling. As I start to focus a little, I figure out that he's apparently yelling at me, or more specifically, the faded Kerry/Edwards '04 sticker in my back window. Great, I think, a goddam wingnut, and I haven't even gotten my coffee yet.

After a moment, though, he also starts yelling about Bush and Skull and Bones, about Geronimo, and that Prescott Bush was a Nazi and that the CIA was founded by Nazis. The CIA controls all the banks. There were no planes on 9/11 - Bush blew the WTC up himself. The people who call themselves Jews aren't Jews - they're descendants of the Khazars. They're all Zionists, and they're trying to kill all the few remaining Jews, the real descendants of Shem, whom the media calls Palestinians. Those Hasidim who live up on the other side of town? All Zionists. I'm a real patriot. Ron Paul is gonna put us back on a real financial basis and get us away from the Bilderbergers and Freemasons. He's a real patriot, like me. I know what the real truth is. I've studied these things. You know why people like JFK and Diana have torches on their graves - that means the Illuminati took 'em out and are bragging about it...

At this point, I can't hold my silence anymore, because whenever someone mentions Diana in one of these conspiracy rants, it means one thing.

I yelled back at him, "So you actually believe that the Queen of England is a seven-foot tall lizard?"

He's taken aback for a second, then says in a much lower, but still audible voice, "Get a cat." That had me puzzled for a moment, and then he said "Cats hate reptiles. Cats are reptiles' natural enemies". So I guess he was letting me know how I could figure out who was a giant lizard and who wasn't. At that moment the logjam at the take-out window finally broke and I was able to get my coffee and go.

Now at this point you must be imagining that Cliff is making stuff up, but once again...the craziness checks out. The reptoids apparently fear mirrors and cats. They also are afraid of the people that can detect them with psychic powers, which seems to be almost every reptoid believer that is alive. So lets compile a list of how many conspiracies and woo are meshed together here:

• the illunimati
• 9/11 wasn't done by the government
• the Jews are secretly evil
• the bohemian grove
• new world order stories
• humans have psychic powers
• angels exist and are at war with demons
• the reptoids are the current jews and biblical demons
• there was once a galactic war in the milkyway
• Barack Obama is the ultimate reptoid puppet
• reptoid spirits can invade your body and control you

it goes on and on, but to simplify it, take the craziest conspiracy theorist you can think of and combine him/her with the craziest Pentecostal preacher you can think of and add reptoids. Mix it together and you have an army of men who ride upon kitty cats with mirrored armor. So how did this giant woo-fest get so popular? Its actually because most of the believers seem to have an odd combination of open-mindedness and paranoia. Over time, more and more conspiracy theorists added more to the melting pot, and the ideas are being added and passed on even now. The creepiest part of it all is that the more ideas that are added, the larger Icke's group becomes, and the larger the group becomes, the more ideas that get added.

Yikes.

Kitteh jebus insalts teh chirstainz!!!!! srsly.

Disclaimer : for all you humans out there, I'd like to inform you that this article is written in lolcat. If you cannot read the language of lolcat please scroll halfway down to read the human version, srsly. kthxbai.
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i has resently fallen bak in luv wif teh bible, moar specifically teh lolcat bible. dose cute an cuddly lil kittehs tell teh bible in their own language, lolcat language. it wud appear dat sum christianz find teh idea ov kitteh jebus an kitteh ceilin cat offensiv howevr. y iz whenevr yahweh gets made out 2 be an 8 foot tall frellin ninja lion, christianz luv it? or when jebus iz made out 2 be indestructible harbingr ov frellin death til teh wurld iz nice, y do they luv instead ov loathin? i suppose ceilin cat symbolizin iz only evil if u mak teh ceilin cat cute instead ov badas. howevr, im ramblin, so lets git 2 teh point ov teh post...

oh noez! blesfamy

i honestly didnt knoe dat anyone cud say teh werd blasfemy dat mutch. grantd, teh intarwebz appears 2 confuzzle most ov thees christianz, but im honestly wonderin whethr sum ov them hate their own bible. teh akshul mesage ov teh lolcat bible iz teh same, teh language iz jus changd an teh humanz become kats. 4 dose ov u 2 lazy 2 click teh link, her r teh bestest quotez:

an, comin soon, biblez written in pig latin, smurfees, klingon, an vulcan. (teh last wan will be gud 4 prosperity preachers, hoo r always quotin spockz "liv long an prospr" meme. but i digres.)
dis ar teh filthy, disgustin, blasfemous, an an uttr abominashun. an anyone hoo buys wan ov thees iz sharin in thees peeps sins.
-
2 reduce teh bible 2 lolspeak iz not merely offensiv, but petty. it speakz ov absolutely no reverence 4 da bible or itz author.

iz stoopid, iz blasfemous, an it be cheap attempt 2 pandr 2 teh current markit fad.
-
teh only ting dis "bible" wud be gud 4 iz 2 line teh kitteh-littr box wif!
-
i doan git dis at all! "kitteh speek"? wut kind ov nutcase came up wif dis blasfemy?
-
referrin 2 ceilin cat as "ceilin kat" iz an insult in da extreme: http://icanhascheezburger.com/kategory/ceilin/
look at teh fifth entry down--but i doan recommend it 4 da sensitiv.

i knoe they arent as tooth an claw-ish as teh quotez in mah last post, but i still lovd them. also, wan ov teh christianz left cute sarcastic comment worth menshun

nao, iz dis offishul "kitteh-speek?" cuz i read dis 2 mah 2 kats an they didnt git it.
gud wan bout rick warren. we all knoe we ned 2 do anythin posible 2 git kats in church. if we had "mouse speek" bible, thar mite be problem.

i luv sarcasm dun rite. anothr reason im postin dis ar teh so i can both add it 2 mah linkz list, an so i can halp teh push 2 git teh book publishd (if it doez git publishd, im buyin teh damnd ting. genesis 1 alone makez it worth it).

push it, push it gud!
---
LOL NOTICE!!!
tis is teh hooman vershun. it lyk has no cheeseburgers. srsly.
/LOL NOTICE
---
I've recently fallen back in love with the bible, more specifically the lolcat bible. Those cute and cuddly little kittys tell the bible in their own language, lolcat language. It would appear that some Christians find the idea of kitty Jesus and kitty god offensive however. Why is it whenever Yahweh gets made out to be an 8 foot tall frelling ninja lion, Christians love it? Or when Jesus is made out to be a indestructible harbinger of frelling death until the world is nice, why do they love instead of loathing? I suppose god symbolizing is only evil if you make the god cute instead of badass. However, I am rambling, so lets get to the point of the post...

OH NOEZ! BLESSPHAMY

I honestly didn't know that anyone could say the word blasphemy that much. Granted, the intarwebz appears to confuzzle most of these Christians, but I'm honestly wondering whether some of them hate their own bible. The actual message of the lolcat bible is the same, the language is just changed and the humans become cats. For those of you too lazy to click the link, here are the bestest quotes:

And, coming soon, Bibles written in Pig Latin, Smurfese, Klingon, and Vulcan. (The last one will be good for prosperity preachers, who are always quoting Spock's "Live long and prosper" meme. But I digress.)
This is filthy, disgusting, blasphemous, and an utter abomination. And anyone who buys one of these is sharing in these people's sins.
-
To reduce the Bible to Lolspeak is not merely offensive, but petty. It speaks of absolutely NO reverence for the Bible or its Author.

It's stupid, it's blasphemous, and it's a cheap attempt to pander to the current market fad.
-
The only thing this "Bible" would be good for is to line the kitty-litter box with!
-
I don't get this at all! "Kitty speak"? What kind of nutcase came up with this blasphemy?
-
Referring to God as "Ceiling Cat" is an insult in the extreme: http://icanhascheezburger.com/category/ceiling/
Look at the fifth entry down--but I don't recommend it for the sensitive.

I know they aren't as tooth and claw-ish as the quotes in my last post, but I still loved them. Also, one of the Christians left a cute sarcastic comment worth mention

Now, is this official "Kitty-Speak?" because I read this to my two cats and they didn't get it.
Good one about Rick Warren. We all know we need to do anything possible to get cats in church. If we had a "Mouse Speak" Bible, there might be a problem.

I love sarcasm done right. Another reason I'm posting this is so I can both add it to my links list, and so I can help the push to get the book published (if it does get published, I'm buying the damned thing. genesis 1 alone makes it worth it).

push it, push it good!

Christian fundamentalists are actually quite kind and respectul...

...at least compared to the republican fundamentalists. When I heard of the website the free republic, I imagined it was just the republican version of the democratic underground, where a bunch of moderate republicans fapped each others beliefs off. What I found instead makes me wonder whether humanity has even a chance of survival in the long run. The website is filled with some of the most inane, moronic, and asshatish things I've ever heard, from racism, to sexism, to blind patriotism, to Fred Phelpsism...its all there. Just so that I can spread the suffering I've endured, here are a few quotes from the "freepers":

CHANGE- the post modern euphemism for Marxist revolution.

Dems, Libs, Socialists, Call 'em what you will, they ALL have Fairies livin' in their Trees.

If someone lives in CA, CO, CT, DC, DE, FL, HI, IA, IL, IN, MA, MD, MI, MN, NC, NH, NM, NJ, NV, NY, OH, OR, PA, RI, WA, VT, WA, or WI then it is fair to assume that the are anti american

Obama is living proof that stupid people should not be allowed to vote.

Global warming is to science what Islam is to religion

All I needed to know about islam I learned on 9-11

See what 50 years of liberal TV propaganda gets ya....hope I live long enough to see the next Civil War, and healthy enough to participate.

We have now enfranchised all of the groups that the Founders (looking to history and why Republics fall) warned us against; non freeholders, women, children under 21, felons, and imbeciles.

Peace is not an option

The novelty of electing the first black president will wear off. I don't know if the Magic Negro Effect will wear off though.

Obama is the first Affirmative Action president and conservatives need to make sure he's the last because this country may not continue its present existence as the home of the free. It's going be either Marxism or Islamofascism conquering this country.

Hey algore...You'll have to pry the steering wheel of my 317 HP V8 truck from my cold dead hands

American politics has truly sunk: an inexperienced hack is going to be President and a second-rate comedy writer will be a Senator. America, you get what you deserve.

I wouldn't be surprised if by that time term limits were abolished for the Presidency and Obama was made our permanent ruler and the Dems take over both Senate and House and forbid any more elections.

They all need a bat upside their teeth a couple of times to knock some sense into them.

Trust in God, Question everyone else
-----------
and to end on a bit of brilliant truth..."Disclaimer: I have a right to be stupid and wrong. Please don't legislate that right from me."

If your brains haven't been melted yet, just think about this... all of these quotes were taken from a single forum thread. What in the hell is wrong with these people, and how is it possible for anyone to be that caustic?

Happy new year's everyone!

At least for another hour and 7 minutes at least. Since pink eye has just recently exploded around my general area, I'm avoiding contact with any human life until Monday. I'm sorry to say that I couldn't be as active in the war on new years day as I was in Christmas, but it all flew by far too fast.I hope you had a good one, and that none of you wake up with really bad hangovers...unless you deserve it, then I hope your head hurts like hell.

On a side note: Does anyone know where I can find the mp3 for the Westboro church's song "santa claus will rake you to hell"? The song is ironically hilarious, and while the Phelps clan members may be ugly as hell, they don't make a bad choir.

To all of you devious Christian anti-gay boycotters

To all of you devious Christian anti-gay boycotters out there, I have a list that will make remembering which of those ebil pro-gay companies are to be avoided. You don't have to take my word for it either, as this list was compiled by those awesome true Christians™ at world nut daily. This list is comprised of 259 different companies that scored a perfect 100% on Fred Phelps's gaydar. If you as a true Christian™ dare to purchase even a photocopy from these companies, that means that you are actively helping the gays to take over the country and sodomize every little man whom is not within 10 feet of a catholic priest. Without further ado, I present the companies that Hitler does all his shopping at:

link to WND

1. 3M Co.
2. AAA Northern California, Nevada and Utah
3. Abercrombie & Fitch
4. Accenture Ltd.
5. Aetna
6. Agilent Technologies
7. Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld
8. Alaska Airlines
9. Alcatel-Lucent
10. Allianz Life Insurance Co. of North America
11. Allstate Corp.
12. Alston & Bird
13. American Express
14. Ameriprise Financial
15. American Airlines
16. Anheuser-Busch Companies
17. Aon Corp.
18. Apple
19. Arent Fox LLP
20. Arnold & Porter
21. AT&T
22. Bain & Co.
23. Baker & Daniels LLP
24. Bank of America
25. Bank of New York Mellon Corp.
26. Barnes & Noble
27. BASF
28. Bausch & Lomb
29. Best Buy
30. Bingham McCutchen
31. BMC Software
32. Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals
33. Boeing
34. Borders
35. Boston Consulting Group
36. BP America
37. Bright Horizons Family Solutions
38. Brinker International
39. Bristol-Myers Squibb Co
40. Brown Rudnick
41. Bryan Cave
42. Campbell Soup Co.
43. Capital One
44. Cardinal Health
45. Cargill
46. Carlson Companies
47. Carmax
48. Charles Schwab
49. Chevron
50. ChoicePoint
51. Chrysler
52. Chubb
53. Cisco Systems
54. Citigroup
55. Clear Channel Communications
56. Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton
57. Clifford Chance US LLP
58. Clorox
59. CNA Insurance
60. Coca-Cola
61. Coca-Cola Enterprises Inc.
62. Constellation Energy Group Inc.
63. Continental Airlines
64. Coors
65. Corning
66. Covington & Burling LLP
67. Cox Enterprises
68. Cravath, Swaine & Moore LLP
69. Credit Suisse
70. Cummins
71. Debevoise & Plimpton LLP
72. Dell
73. Deloitte & Touche
74. Deutsche Bank
75. Dewey & LeBoeuf LLP
76. Diageo North America
77. Dickstein Shapiro
78. DLA Piper
79. Dorsey & Whitney
80. Dow Chemical
81. DuPont
82. Eastman Kodak
83. eBay Inc.
84. Edwards Angell Palmer & Dodge LLP
85. Electronic Arts
86. Eli Lilly & Co.
87. Ernst & Young
88. Estee Lauder
89. Esurance
90. Faegre & Benson
91. Fannie Mae
92. Foley & Lardner
93. Foley Hoag
94. Ford
95. Freescale Semiconductor
96. Fried, Frank, Haris, Shriver & Jacobson LLP
97. GameStop
98. Gap
99. Genentech
100. General Motors
101. Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher LLP
102. GlaxoSmithKline
103. Hyatt
104. Goldman Sachs
105. Google
106. Harrah's
107. Hartford Financial Services
108. Harvard Pilgrim Health Care
109. Haynes and Boone LLP
110. Heller Ehrman
111. Herman Miller
112. Hewitt Associates
113. Hewlett-Packard
114. Hoffman-La Roche Inc.
115. Holland & Knight
116. Honeywell International
117. Hospira
118. Howrey LLP
119. HSBC USA
120. Husch Blackwell Sanders LLP
121. IndyMac Bancorp
122. ING North America Insurance
123. Intel
124. IBM
125. Intuit
126. J.C. Penney
127. J.P. Morgan Chase & Co.
128. Jenner & Block
129. Johnson & Johnson
130. Kaiser Permanente
131. KeyCorp
132. Kimberly Clark Corp.
133. Kimpton Hotel & Restaurant Group
134. Kirkland & Ellis
135. KPMG
136. Kramer Levin Naftalis & Frankel
137. Latham & Watkins
138. Lehman Brothers
139. Levi Strauss
140. Lexmark International
141. Littler Mendelson PC
142. Liz Claiborne
143. Lockheed Martin Corp.
144. Macy
145. Manatt, Phelps & Phillips LLP
146. Marriott International
147. Marsh & McLennan Cos.
148. Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance
149. MasterCard
150. McDermott Will & Emery
151. McKinsey & Co.
152. Merck & Co.
153. Merrill Lynch & Co.
154. MetLife
155. Microsoft
156. Mintz, Levin, Cohn, Ferris, Glovsky & Popeo
157. Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams
158. Morgan Stanley
159. Morrison & Foerster
160. Motorola
161. National Grid USA
162. Nationwide
163. NCR
164. New York Life Insurance Co.
165. New York Times
166. Newell Rubbermaid
167. Nielsen Co.
168. Nike
169. Nixon Peabody
170. Nordstrom
171. Northern Trust
172. Northrop Grumman
173. Novartis Pharmaceutical Corp.
174. O'Melveny & Myers
175. Oracle
176. Orbitz
177. Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe
178. Owens Corning
179. Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler LLP
180. Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker LLP
181. Pepsi Bottling Group Inc.
182. PepsiCo
183. Perkins Coie
184. Pfizer
185. PG&E
186. Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman
187. Powell Goldstein
188. PricewaterhouseCoopers
189. Progressive Corp.
190. Proskauer Rose LLP
191. Prudential Financial
192. Raymond James Financial
193. Raytheon
194. Recreational Equipment Inc.
195. Replacements Ltd.
196. Reynolds American Inc.
197. Robins, Kaplan, Miller & Ciresi LLP
198. Ropes & Gray LLP
199. Sabre Holdings
200. Schering-Plough
201. Sears
202. Sedgwick, Detert, Moran & Arnold LLP
203. Sempra Energy
204. Seyfarth Shaw LLP
205. Shell Oil
206. Sidley Austin
207. Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP
208. Sodexho
209. Sonnenschein, Nath & Rosenthal
210. Southern California Edison
211. Sprint Nextel
212. Squire, Sanders & Dempsey LLP
213. Starbucks
214. Starcom MediaVest
215. Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide
216. State Street Corp.
217. Subaru of America
218. Sullivan & Cromwell LLP
219. Sun Life Financial Inc.
220. Sun Microsystems
221. SunTrust Banks
222. Supervalu
223. Symantec Corp.
224. Target
225. Tech Data
226. Texas Instruments
227. Thompson Coburn
228. Time Warner
229. TJX Cos.
230. Toyota Financial Services
231. Toyota Motor Sales USA
232. Travelport
233. Troutman Sanders
234. U.S. Bancorp
235. UBS AG
236. Unilever
237. United Business Media
238. United Parcel Service
239. US Airways Group
240. Viacom
241. Vinson & Elkins
242. Visa
243. Visteon Corp.
244. Volkswagen of America
245. Wachovia Corp.
246. Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz
247. Walgreens
248. Walt Disney
249. Washington Mutual
250. Weil, Gotshal and Manges
251. Wells Fargo & Co.
252. Whirlpool
253. White & Case
254. Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale & Dorr
255. Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati
256. Winston & Strawn
257. Wyndham Worldwide
258. Xerox
259. Yahoo!

This list conclusively proves two things;
1) The Germans are extremely gay. This explains Hitlers girlie hair, of course.
2)Technology is evil. You can't even read these words of warning without using at least two of the gay companies labeled above [hint: blogger is google's homosexual offspring]
--------------------------
Commence the gay boycotting and stop all those satan sodomizing sexual sickos from stealing your son's straightness!!!!!

FSTDT: the inanity, it burns

I've been spending a lot of time at FSTDT ( fundies say the darndest things) over the last two days, and all I can say is... I hate humanity. Viewing too much of that website at once will quickly turn laughs into tears, wherein you wonder how its possible for so much hatred and stupid to be concentrated into individual bodies. I pity the black, gay, jewish, atheist who is an abortion doctor, who visits the website, for I'd imagine that not even the hulk could outmatch the rage of that woman...

[the link the fstds is in the sidebar by the way, but seriously... do not spend any more than 2 hours a week there...it burns]

Ben Shapiro; logically bankrupt moron

Okay guys I've got an idea you've never heard before: atheists are evil and have no morality, and rather than explain why atheists are still nice, I'm just going to ramble on about determinism when I think I'm talking about religion. Never heard it before? Well I have, but never from a non fundy, until now...behold the mighty link...

Done reading it? Good. Didn't read it? Even better, as you are about to see it again, in bite sized pieces:

Why Atheism Is Morally Bankrupt
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
By Ben Shapiro

we are off to a great start, it even has a catchy title like mine!

If you walk around Washington, D.C., on a regular basis, you’re likely to see some rather peculiar posters. But you won’t see anything more peculiar than the ads put out by the American Humanist Association. “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness sake,” say the signs, in Christmas-colored red and green.

Sounds great, doesn’t it? Just be good for goodness’ sake. You don’t need some Big Man in the Sky telling you what to do. You can be a wonderful person simply by doing the right thing.

Yes, it does sound great. Oh wait, you are being sarcastic and about to say something disingenuous and moronic, aren't you?

There’s only one problem: without God, there can be no moral choice. Without God, there is no capacity for free will.

Oh noez, not the argument from "without god the universe cannot possibly be indeterministic and I'm going to make blanket statements about atheists under the cover of determinism". Come on now, free will has nothing to do with religion, and if you dare disagree I shall throw my copy of freedom evolves at you...rawr.

That’s because a Godless world is a soulless world.

its also a karmaless world, a chakraless world, a chiless world, a magicless world, a ghostless world, a zenless world, and a rational world. I'm betting that most of those concepts Ben would reject because he is a christian, so the entire thing is a huge emotional non sequitor in which Ben points his finger and goes "look, they don't believe in my type of magic, so they can't be good."

Virtually all faiths hold that God endows human beings with the unique ability to choose their actions—the ability to transcend biology and environment in order to do good. Transcending biology and our environment requires a higher power—a spark of the supernatural. As philosopher Rene Descartes, put it, “Although … I possess a body with which I am very intimately conjoined … [my soul] is entirely and absolutely distinct from my body and can exist without it.”

Now when we say soul, what are we talking about here? Do you mean your personality, and they way you act towards others, because if so, I'm afraid that your soul is only is small fragment of your brain. If you mean something that everyone has, but it doesn't affect how they act towards others, than the frelling thing is pointless as far as your argument goes.

Gilbert Pyle, the atheistic philosopher, derogatorily labeled the idea of soul/body dualism, “the ghost in the machine.” Nonetheless, our entire legal and moral system is based on the ghost in the machine—the presupposition that we can choose to do otherwise.

Once again, linking atheism to determinism is moronic.

We can only condemn or praise individuals if they are responsible for their actions. We don’t jail squirrels for garden theft or dogs for assaulting cats—they aren’t responsible for their actions. But we routinely lock up kleptomaniacs and violent felons.

We don't lock up squirrels, but it isn't because they don't have a soul, its because squirrels are nearly incapable of any kind of behavior that isn't instinctive. We don't lock them up, because they don't have the cognitive ability to think "hmm, maybe taking this away from others is a bad thing" and it isn't a soul that gives a human the ability to think like that. Your brain controls your personality, morals, emotions, behavioral patterns, and instincts, not some floaty ghost in the machine.

It’s not only our criminal justice system that presupposes a Creator. It’s our entire notion of freedom and equality. “We hold these truths to be self-evident,” wrote Thomas Jefferson, supposed atheist, “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

I just wanted to say that Jefferson was a deist, not an atheist. If he was alive today he would probably be an atheist, but atheism wasn't really an easily comprehensible idea in the 1700's.

Human equality must spring from a Creator, because the presence of a soul is all that makes man human and equal. Biology suggests inherent inequality—who would call Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stephen Hawking equal in any way? Biology suggests the sort of Hegelian social Darwinism embraced by totalitarian dictators, not the principles of equality articulated by the Founding Fathers.

Of course evolutionary biology suggests inherent inequality, just because it exists doesn't make it morally right. Ideas evolve too though, as does society. Humans have reached a point where they are developing knowledge quite a bit faster than they are developing physical traits, we have developed our own legal systems out of the most primal instincts of survival, moral concepts about other arise from contemplating the way that we and others should be treated, and ideas evolve. Claiming that god is responsible for the social evolution of humans seems kind of cheesy to me.

Without a soul, freedom too is impossible—we are all slaves to our biology. According to atheists, human beings are intensely complex machines. Our actions are determined by our genetics and our environment. According to atheists, if we could somehow determine all the constituent material parts of the universe, we would be able to predict all human action, down to the exact moment at which Vice President-elect Joe Biden will pick his nose.

you wouldn't be talking about something like laplace's demon, perhaps?

Freedom is generically defined as “the power to determine action without restraint” (Random House). But if action without restraint is impossible, how can we fight for freedom?

Believe it or not, at this point I considered actually mailing Ben "freedom evolves", and attaching a note to it that said "please bang your head against this book, and read it...but not in that order", but then I remembered that as soon as he opened the book, his eyes would become blinded by the sexy picture of Daniel Dennett.

If there is no God, there is no freedom to choose. If there is no freedom to choose, there is no good or evil.

Just because there is no objective morality for atheists does not mean there is no morality. its like saying that because not every country agrees on the correct punishment for murder, that no country punishes for murder. Even christian morality, and Islamic morality aren't uniformal, despite that both holy books claim to be. If they were than Sunnis and Shiites wouldn't exist, Catholics and Protestants would be joined as well. Its all in how the people interpret things.

There is merely action and inaction. There is no way to “be good for goodness’ sake”—that would require an act of voluntary will far beyond human capacity.

Altruism is beyond human capability? Isn't the idea that, if you help people than they will be more likely to help you back, enough of a reason to do good things? What about making others happy because we ourselves know that we like to be happy? Are humans really too moronic to act on those thoughts(yes, I realize that some are. Those people are civil suit lawyers)? As you said before "You don’t need some Big Man in the Sky telling you what to do [to do the right thing]". It may help you to do nice things, but not everyone needs that.

Atheists simply gloss over this point. The American Humanist Association states on its website, whybelieveinagod.org, “We can have ethics and values based on our built-in drives toward a moral life.” Without a soul, this is wishful thinking of the highest order.

I still do not see how this shiny soul thing affects morality. This unique argument of mixing body-soul dualism and an argument from indeterminism is starting to look very faulty. I'm pretty sure the only way this argument can stand up is if you start with the premise that the brain does not control one's behavior and personality, or if one says that the brain is controlled by the soul. The problem with the first premise is that is completely disagrees with modern neuroscience, and the problem with the second is that it doesn't allow Ben to make blanket statements about atheist morality.

Since when does biology dictate a moral drive? If it did, wouldn’t man always get more rather than less moral—wouldn’t history be a long upward climb? What about the murderers, rapists, child molesters and genocidal dictators? Are they all ignoring that “built-in drive toward a moral life”?

Of course biology doesn't give us morality, then again...neither does gravity. Human-kind must be drug kicking and screaming towards morality, sometimes its a religious group that is at the forefront, and sometimes it is the religious who kick and scream the loudest.

Atheism may work for individuals. There are moral atheists and there are immoral religious people. But as a system of thought, atheism cannot be the basis for any functional state.

It is not a system of thought. It is simply a lack of belief. Just as a lack of belief in the loch ness monster is not a system of thought, the lack of belief in a god does not give you an innate mindset towards anything other than a belief in a god.

If we wish to protect freedom and equality, we must understand the value of recognizing God.

Subtext: atheists are a danger to freedom and equality, because they do not believe in a god.Well gee thanks, I appreciate the sentiment...

We must recognize the flame of divinity—free will—He implanted within each of us.

By "he" you mean the flying spaghetti monster, right?
---
In conclusion, I'd like to recommend that all of you immoral atheists please keep aborting babies, burning christians, and giving all of your money to those greedy greedy jews...oh, and be please be prepared for the final battle on christmas tomorrow. Shields are not necessary, but you MUST bring at least one copy of the bible/koran/torah/samhita/analects/Mahabharata NO EXCEPTIONS. We are having a huge bonfire before the final battle, and hoping that the fire will help us summon the armies of satan, baal, and mephisto.

heeeelp meeeeeee; I've been memed

I was at the atheist revolution today, and I thought I'd take part in a meme called "The Hardcore Atheism Meme"

Copy and paste the list below on your own site, boldfacing the things you’ve done. (Feel free to add your own elaboration and commentary to each item!)

And the list:

1. Participated in the Blasphemy Challenge. (nein, got a kick out of it though.)
2. Met at least one of the “Four Horsemen” (Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris) in person. (afraid not, and I only really like one of the four)
3. Created an atheist blog. (That wasn't the original intention, but I suppose it fits)
4. Used the Flying Spaghetti Monster in a religious debate with someone. (most definitely true)
5. Gotten offended when someone called you an agnostic. (no, but I do find it annoying when people suggest that I'm mad at/running away from god/s.
6. Been unable to watch Growing Pains reruns because of Kirk Cameron. (before my time)
7. Own more Bibles than most Christians you know. (3, not counting the one on my computer, I also have a Qu'ran on computer).
8. Have at least one Bible with your personal annotations regarding contradictions, disturbing parts, etc. (who needs one? That is what the SAB existed for.
9. Have come out as an atheist to your family. (most of them, anyways. No need to wave it like a flag, I'll tell them if they ask though)
10. Attended a campus or off-campus atheist gathering. (no thank you)
11. Are a member of an organized atheist/Humanist/etc. organization. (in ohio? Good luck)
12. Had a Humanist wedding ceremony. (no ring on my finger yet, thank god)
13. Donated money to an atheist organization. (I r broke, and not a member of any organizations)
14. Have a bookshelf dedicated solely to Richard Dawkins. (I don't own a single dawkins book.)
15. Lost the friendship of someone you know because of your non-theism. (nah)
16. Tried to argue or have a discussion with someone who stopped you on the street to proselytize. ( Nah, not to many street proselytzers around here.)
17. Had to hide your atheist beliefs on a first date because you didn’t want to scare him/her away. (ehh...)
18. Own a stockpile of atheist paraphernalia (bumper stickers, buttons, shirts, etc). (no, and I don't see any time I'd need to use it either...
19. Attended a protest that involved religion. (nah, but I've supported plenty... like the one on the mormon church in california.)
20. Attended an atheist conference. (nope)
21. Subscribe to Pat Condell’s YouTube channel. (had to look him up so...no)
22. Started an atheist group in your area or school. (online schooling...no)
23. Successfully “de-converted” someone to atheism. (yes, while she was on a christian chat room no less.)
24. Have already made plans to donate your body to science after you die. (nope)
25. Told someone you’re an atheist only because you wanted to see the person’s reaction. (nah)
26. Had to think twice before screaming “Oh God!” during sex. Or you said something else in its place. (errm...)
27. Lost a job because of your atheism. (never had one)
28. Formed a bond with someone specifically because of your mutual atheism (meeting this person at a local gathering or conference doesn’t count). (no)
29. Have crossed “In God We Trust” off of — or put a pro-church-state-separation stamp on — dollar bills. (no, that would be a waste of a dollar. I have seen dollar bills advertising christian website though, quite a brilliant advertising scheme.)
30. Refused to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. (yes, but not because of the words "under god")
31. Said “Gesundheit!” (or nothing at all) after someone sneezed because you didn’t want to say “Bless you!” (maybe once or twice)
32. Have ever chosen not to clasp your hands together out of fear someone might think you’re praying. (who in the hell cares?)
33. Have turned on Christian TV because you need something entertaining to watch. (the 700 club is better than stand up comedy sometimes)
34. Are a 2nd or 3rd (or more) generation atheist. (nope, I come from a family of cultural christians, pentecoastals, and whatever on the hell the Cherokee tribes worship)
35. Have “atheism” listed on your Facebook or dating profile — and not a euphemistic variant. (facebook...it burns...get...it...away)
36. Attended an atheist’s funeral (i.e. a non-religious service). (nope.)
37. Subscribe to an freethought magazine (e.g. Free Inquiry, Skeptic) (nein)
38. Have been interviewed by a reporter because of your atheism. ('fraid not)
39. Written a letter-to-the-editor about an issue related to your non-belief in God. (nah)
40. Gave a friend or acquaintance a New Atheist book as a gift. (huh-uh)
41. Wear pro-atheist clothing in public. (don't have any)
42. Have invited Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses into your house specifically because you wanted to argue with them. (nope)
43. Have been physically threatened (or beaten up) because you didn’t believe in God. (just threats)
44. Receive Google Alerts on “atheism” (or variants). (nope)
45. Received fewer Christmas presents than expected because people assumed you didn’t celebrate it. (nyet)
46. Visited The Creation Museum or saw Ben Stein’s Expelled just so you could keep tabs on the “enemy.” ( I'll see expelled right about the same time that I admit that I'm a Hitler worshiping Nazi.)
47. Refuse to tell anyone what your “sign” is… because it doesn’t matter at all. (don't ask and I won't tell)
48. Are on a mailing list for a Christian organization just so you can see what they’re up to… (kind of... scroll down about two posts)
49. Have kept your eyes open while you watched others around you pray. (yes.)
50. Avoid even Unitarian churches because they’re too close to religion for you. (there aren't even any around here)

12/50
I guess I aren't as ebil as I thought...phear me still please?
Click me for the entire post.

I hate youtube; may its creators burn in everlasting torment

Well I was finally drawn back to youtube, and saw another video that made me contemplate putting a fellow human being in a comatose state. These anti-atheist videos are like car crashes, its a horrid mess yet you can't look away. Actually its more like a car crash where a drunk driver injured one of your family members, wherein you can't look away, and you want to fling a bag of hammers at the driver. I'm exaggerating of course, but here is the video link:

Click me if you dare!

Lets look at the amazing logic in this video, and the brilliance of telling us ebil atheists that we are ebil, because we don't hang out with that popular jesus dude, starting with:

Atheists are immoral
Atheists compare themselves with other people to make themselves feel 'moral'
they may say 'at least I'm not a...'
hitler
osama
paris hilton
4 chan member
sodomite(oh wait...)

I don't need to compare myself to bad people to say that I'm moral, I'm pretty sure that my definition morality isn't the same as yours anyways so comparisons to other people means fuck all to you.

you may think you're good b/c(b/c? you really can't write out the word because?)
you work hard at your job
you keep to yourself and don't bother anyone
you are a family man/woman
at least I'm not hooked on meth or drugs
at least I'm not in jail
the atheist argues "I have more good karma than bad"

a)no job
b)I suppose I do leave people alone...sometimes
c)*crickets chirp*
d)meth is a drug, however coffee isn't. I guess that makes me clear.
e)Jail is no fun, I prefer my sodomy to be consensual, thank you.
f) atheists, karma? really? honestly? The karmic wheel is a Hindu idea, and considering most atheists tend to favor science over belief, its just a strawman.

Once again I must reiterate that I don't need to say "but I'm good because I don't do x", its a strawman to make the atheist in question seem like he is pleading to show you he is moral by saying obvious things. We have different definitions of morality, and by your standards I am automatically immoral because I don't believe in your magical father in the sky.

But are you really good in god's sight?

In your god's sight, no I am not. Neither are you though, so I suppose your point is moot. The only difference is that you believe you are forgiven, and you believe I am not.

try this quick test:
have you ever lied? = liar
have you ever stole? = thief
have you ever lusted = adultery

have you ever imitated Ray Comfort? = moron

Honestly now, by this point it should be obvious where this is leading, right down Ray Comfort's road of "atheists are immoral by gods standards and they MUST REPENT, rawr" which delightfully omits the fact that by their definition, the entire world is immoral, so the entire point is to only provoke an emotional response.

*cue funny little video where orphan raising, blood donating, life saving man is sent to hell while (presumably) wife beating, alcoholic, rapist, drug using, lying, thief, pedophile christian is accepted into heaven*

I think if anything can be learned from Christianity, this is it. Hitler can earn heaven, but I must burn in hell. The only thing in the world that matters is belief. The atheists, Hindus, and Buddhists who are doctors and heal the dieing burn in torment forever and ever, while Fred frelling Phelps lives in peace and harmony forever.

*cue beautiful scenery and bible verses that intend to make non believers feel like scum*

pretty pictures, horrid texts. No emotional response from either though, I'm afraid.

[paraphrase]please go to church with moral people, and let them show you how to truly live a moral life.

I remember when I was little and I went to church, turns out that our pastor was a con-man and ended up robbing the church of over 10,000 and he got away. Blessed truly are you moral people of god, and cursed is it to be me, a lowly and foul wretch who wants to live his life helping people and being nice. I deserve to burn. On the bright side, if the Muslims are right then you will burn with me...well I suppose that isn't a bright side, but at least its warm.

E-mail spam?

Someone read my blog and decided to sign me up for both the American Family Association, and OneNewsNow.com newsletters... That isn't very nice. To be honest if I see one more "omgeez teh gays r taking over our church/president/children/abortion clinics" I'm going to go kill me some heteros(suicide?). Honestly though, I think I learned my lesson, don't ever support gays on anything, or you will get newsletter from which you can't unsubscribe. On a side note though, the e-mails are hilarious:

"Episcopals vote for more gay clergy"
"Obama has consistently let the gays have their way..."
"...liberal media goes easy on gay pastor..."

whale wars: animal rights done wrong

If you haven't heard of it it before, whale wars is a TV show on discovery that documents the activist movements of the sea Shepard conversationalist society aboard their vessel, the sea Shepard. Normally a conversationalist group would be far too boring to broadcast on public cable, but the SSCS has a rather unusual way of dealing with Japanese whalers... they damage the whaling boats equipment, make the decks of the ships unusable, and even once boarded a whaling ship without permission. Even other anti-whaling organizations like greenpeace are annoyed by their antics.

I personally think that the only way to fix the whaling problem is educating the Japanese officials, and cutting the allotted amount of whales allotted by small amounts at a time. Even if I supported a less diplomatic approach, there is a huge difference between benign protesting and property destruction/illegal boarding. They make other ecology based organizations look bad with their antics. They seem to hold the belief that the ends justify the means, but it just seems to me that they only end up looking like eco-terrorists.